Full video

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hi i'm vanessa from speak english with

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vanessa calm let's talk about starting a

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conversation to improve your speaking

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skills in English you need to speak

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right

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practice the skills that you want to

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improve it's that easy well maybe it's

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not that easy hi hi what do I say next

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why is it he talking more oh no I don't

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know what to say you know what this has

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probably happened to you in your native

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language so it makes sense that in

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English it can be tough to start a

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conversation too but never fear

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Vanessa's tips are here in life there

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are two kinds of people people you know

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and people you don't know

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we call those strangers so it makes

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sense to have two different types of

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conversation starters of course there's

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some overlap but it's helpful to

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separate them let's start with people

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you know imagine that you're in the

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grocery store you're pushing your car

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looking for some spinach and you see

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your coworker and you want to say hi

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what can you say well here are four

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great questions that you can ask in that

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situation or that they might ask you so

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you need to understand them and how to

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respond the first two questions are

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about the past let's take a look

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hi Dan hi how are you pretty good what

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have you been up to lately oh not much

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just what to see my family yesterday

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what about you hi Dan hi how are you

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pretty good what were you up to this

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weekend oh not much just went to see my

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family yesterday what about you these

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questions asked about sometime in the

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past you can change the words to say

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lately today last weekend for a recent

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holiday you can switch that up depending

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on the situation but it's great to ask

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about the past the next questions are

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going to ask about the present

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what do you have going on today oh not

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much just going to a friend's house this

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evening what about you what have you got

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going on today oh not much

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just going to a friend's house this

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evening what about you these questions

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asked about the present did you notice

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the beautiful casual verbs that were

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used here what have you got going on

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today what have you got going on today

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what are you doing today that's another

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way to say it but we often say what have

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you got going on today and it's really

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casual informal it's great for these

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just passing by situations when you see

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someone who you already know let's go on

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to the next questions what to talk about

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the future

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do you have anything fun going on this

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weekend oh not much just going to a

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friend's house tomorrow what about you

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do you have any plans for Easter

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oh not much just going to have lunch

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with my family what about you for these

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questions that asked about the future I

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want you to be a little bit careful

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because if you say this with a certain

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type of intonation the other person

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especially if you're a guy talking to a

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girl it could feel like you're trying to

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ask them on a date or maybe they'll feel

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a little bit uncomfortable so make sure

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that when you say oh do you have

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anything fun going on this weekend make

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sure you say it with a smile very

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casually you don't need to look them

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into the eye and say it seriously from

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the bottom of your heart it's just a

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casual question of course unless you do

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want to ask them for a date and then you

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can say it a little more seriously but

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if you just want to casually say

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something to your coworker you need to

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have a light tone don't worry about

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using this just make sure you have a

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light tone and you say it with a smile

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oh do you have anything fun going on

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this weekend great like you saw in those

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sample conversations Dan could have just

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said not much and then stop the

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conversation boring boring boring but

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you know what some people do that if

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you're lucky the person you're talking

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to might ask not much what about you

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okay at least they're asking a question

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and you can share some information about

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what you're doing or what you did over

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the weekend so here not everyone is

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gonna give a lot of information but they

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might give you something and if they

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don't don't worry about it it's not your

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fault you tried your best what about the

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second kind of people people you don't

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know strangers in the u.s. we sometimes

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strike up a conversation with strangers

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but it depends where you are for example

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in the south of the US where I live it's

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pretty common that when you pass by a

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stranger you make eye contact and you

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might say hi but if you're in Manhattan

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in New York if you did that to every

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stranger who you passed by hi hi hi a

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people would think you were a little bit

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strange so it depends on where you are

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in the US but it's certainly common to

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strike up a conversation with someone

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who you don't know if you visit the US I

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recommend visiting a grocery store call

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Trader Joe's because it's a requirement

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for working there that every employee is

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amazing at having small talk

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conversations with strangers and it's

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part of their job to talk with customers

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so if you have ever visited a Trader

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Joe's you know exactly what I mean these

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employees are known for being so kind

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it's so friendly and if you go there be

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prepared with some of these questions

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and be prepared to answer them because

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they'll definitely ask you them let's

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think about a scenario where you might

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talk with the stranger we can imagine

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you're in the park you're walking your

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dog and like dogs do your dog is

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sniffing and going towards another dog

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well you'd like to strike up a

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conversation with the owner of that dog

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what can you say

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oh what a cute dog do you come here

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often yeah we try to it's a great place

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to walk oh what a cute dog have you ever

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been here before yeah a lot it's a great

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place to walk oh what a cute dog yeah

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he's a sweetie have you been in

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Asheville for a while just two years

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what about you oh what a cute dog yeah

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he's a sweetie do you live nearby yeah

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we live just down the street what about

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you like with the previous set of

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questions it's important to have a light

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attitude if you ask someone do you come

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here often the other person might feel a

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little bit uncomfortable like are they

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following me are they scary person so

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make sure you just say it lightly oh do

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you come here often

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no problem this is a great question to

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ask and I ask this all the time when I

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go to the park and I'm playing with my

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toddler and he ends up playing with

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another kid and I asked the parent oh do

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you come here often it's just a way to

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start a conversation okay now it's

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special notice time I want to let you

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know that not everyone is a great

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conversationalist you have to try your

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best and practice this so if you ask

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these questions to someone and they

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don't respond and you don't have an

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amazing conversation you know what maybe

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they're just not a good

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conversationalist maybe they haven't

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practiced this skill so I want you to be

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able to try your best and then it's

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really up to the other person it's their

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choice if the conversation continues you

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might be thinking Vanessa

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you seem like a good conversationalist

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what do you know about being worried

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about what to say or not knowing what to

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say let me tell you a little story

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well dan and I lived in South Korea for

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three years so that means that for three

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years every time that I had small talk

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or started a conversation with someone

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it was in Korean that means that I

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didn't practice small talk in English

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for three years when we moved back to

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the US I remember two situations one was

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when I was getting my driver's license

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because we had just moved back so I

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needed my driver's license again and the

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man at the desk said something to me

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like have you just moved here or how's

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your day going some kind of typical

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small talk

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and I just stood there and I stuttered

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and I didn't really know what to say and

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then he repeated the question and I said

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something probably something silly and

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when I walked away from that

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conversation I just laughed and thought

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what happened this is my native language

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why can't I respond to him and then I

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realized oh I haven't practiced small

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talk with strangers in English in three

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years I'm gonna need a little bit of

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practice to get used to speaking like

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that again then a few weeks later I was

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at Trader Joe's the grocery store that I

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mentioned to you and I was getting a

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sample of food from one of the workers

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and she asked me some typical question I

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don't even remember what it was but it

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was some kind of small talk question in

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my brain just wet hair and shut down

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completely and I recognized this feeling

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because it had happened a couple weeks

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earlier at the driver's license place so

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I thought I should just tell her why I'm

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reacting like this so I said I'm sorry I

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just moved back from Korea and I haven't

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had small talk in English for a long

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time so I'm sorry about my awkwardness

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and you know what she had lived in Korea

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too it was a really unusual circumstance

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but we bonded over that and I could kind

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of loosen up a little bit and feel

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comfortable because we started talking a

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little bit and this helped me to get

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practice and practice and practice and

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repetition is what's going to help you

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to really improve this skill always

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remember that a smile is the best tool

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sometimes when we feel nervous our face

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gets really serious and we forget to

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smile but something happens when you

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smile you start to loosen up you start

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to feel a little more comfortable and

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maybe you'll be able to remember some of

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the sentences and questions that we

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talked about all right my challenge for

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you is this choose one of these

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questions that you're going to ask in

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your next English conversation practice

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it by writing it in the comments and

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check out to see what other students

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questions are - it's a good chance to

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pretend that they're asking you pretend

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to answer it and really use this

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repetition thanks so much for learning

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English with me and I'll see you again

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next

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for a new lesson here on my youtube

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channel bye do you have anything fun

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going on this weekend oh not much just

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going to a friend's house tomorrow what

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about you hi how are you pretty good hi

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Dan hi how are you pretty good what have

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you been up to lately

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[Music]

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[Laughter]

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[Music]

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well not much just went to see my family

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yesterday what about you oh what a cute

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dog yeah he's a sweetie have you been in

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Asheville for awhile just two years what

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about you oh what a cute cutie but I

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think you oh what a cute dog the next

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step is to download my free ebook 5

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steps to becoming a confident English

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speaker you'll learn what you need to do

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to speak confidently and fluently don't

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forget to subscribe to my youtube

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channel for more free lessons thanks so

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much

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bye