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[Music]

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[Music]

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hi I'm here to talk to you about the

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importance of Praise admiration and

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thank you and having it be specific and

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genuine and the way I got interested in

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this was I noticed myself when I was

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growing up until about a few years ago

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that I would want to say thank you to

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someone I would want to praise them I'd

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want to take in their Praise of me and I

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just stop it and I asked myself why I I

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felt shy felt embarrassed and then my

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question became am I the only one who

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does this so I decided to

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investigate I'm fortunate enough to work

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in the rehab facility so I get to see

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people who are facing life and death

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with addiction and sometimes it comes

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down to something as simple as their

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core wound is their father died with

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ever without ever saying he was proud of

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them but then they hear from all the

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family and friends that the father told

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everybody else that he was proud of him

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but he never told his son it's because

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he didn't know that his son needed to

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hear it so my question is why don't we

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ask for the things that we need um I

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know a gentleman married for 25 years

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who's longing to hear his wife say thank

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you for being the bread winner so I

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could stay home with the kids but won't

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ask I know a woman who's good at this

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she once a week meets with her husband

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says I would like you to thank me for

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all these things I did in the house and

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with the kids and he goes and he goes oh

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this is great this is great and praise

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really does have to be genuine but she

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takes responsibility for that and a

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friend of mine April who I've had since

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kindergarten she thanks her children for

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doing their chores and she said why

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wouldn't I thank it even though they're

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supposed to do it so the question is why

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was I blocking it why were other people

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blocking it why can I say I'll take my

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steak medium rare I need size six shoes

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but I won't say would you praise me this

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way and it's because I'm giving you

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critical data about me I'm telling you

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where I'm insecure I'm telling you where

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I need your help and I'm treating you my

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inner circle like you're the enemy

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because what can you do with that data

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you could neglect me you could abuse it

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or you could actually meet my need and I

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took my bike into the bike store I love

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this um same bike and they do something

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called TR the wheels the guy said you

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know when you true the wheels it's going

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to make the bike so much better I get

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the same bike back

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and they've taken all the little warps

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out of those same Wheels I've had for 2

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and a half years and my bike is like new

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so I'm going to challenge all of you I

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want you to True your wheels be honest

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about the praise that you need to hear

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what do you need to hear go home to your

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wife go ask her what does she need go

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home to your husband what does he need

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go home and ask those questions and then

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help the people around you and it's

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simple why and why should we care about

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this we talk about world peace how can

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we have world peace with different

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cultures different languages I think it

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starts household by household under the

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same roof so let's make it right in our

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own backyard and I want to thank all of

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you in the audience for being great

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husbands great mothers friends daughters

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sons and maybe somebody's never said

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that to you but you've done a really

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really good job and thank you for being

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here and just showing up and changing

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the world with your ideas thank you

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[Music]

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in the beginning was a

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screen millions of us came together in a

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public place to understand the present

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to see visions of the

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future sharing

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emotions sharing experiences that shaped

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our lives I have a dream

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then there was a second

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screen T where do you want it

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Governor he connected us to our world

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and even to other

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worlds it gave us amazing new games to

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play he made us think and got us talking

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but although this is a world we could

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all share the experience itself was

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becoming

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private then came a third scream it

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changed the way we worked and played it

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became part of something much bigger the

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internet and a revolution happened we

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could play new games in new ways find

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new music in new places new communities

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new kinds of communities

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emerged but the experience had become

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individual even solitary the sense of

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community felt real but it was

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virtual and then everything changed

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and it changed

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forever everything came to us in a

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device that could fit into our pocket we

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went back out into the world we listened

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to what we loved when we liked we played

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when we wanted where we chose we shared

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what inspired us with everyone we cared

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about we carried our sense of purpose

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with us we discovered new people and

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places and experiences and our sense of

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purpose kept

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growing it was the end of something

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it was the beginning of

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everything welcome to the fourth screen