Full video

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the answers lie within you

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you have all the answers

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you are whole and complete

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don't believe the stories that you tell

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yourself they're just opinions not fact

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create a present not in the past to

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create a present in the future

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[Music]

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the reimagining of the self

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hello welcome to easy english today i'm

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asking the people of brighton about

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confidence advice to give to people on

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building confidence and examples in

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their own life where they were lacking a

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little bit of self-esteem here we go

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[Music]

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what advice would you give on like some

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self-esteem or confidence

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i think it's about doing the stuff

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you're good at

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and enjoying that so i think if you're

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struggling with meeting people finding

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friends what i would do is say what's

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the thing i like doing what makes me

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feel good when did i last feel good and

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then try and replicate that so that

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helps build your confidence because you

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feel

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you're adding value back into the group

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of friends you're with and i think a lot

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of lacking in confidence is because you

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don't feel valuable amongst the people

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you're mixing with so with confidence i

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think is about comfort zones and i think

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if you can depict something that you're

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interested in or something you're um

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kind of really into and really really

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want to speak about you'll be able to

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find your confidence with that if you're

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comfortable speaking about it if you

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know what you're talking about um then

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your confidence will come through that

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so you should always try and kind of

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deviate the conversation the way of

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something that you are confident about

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something you are interested in whether

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it's a sporting event um whether it's

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whether it's anything you like whether

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it's being at the beach or going for

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walks

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anything you have the enthusiasm about

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speak about that and that will give you

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more confidence i think so i think as my

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job is a lecturer so that does take

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confidence standing up in front of a

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group

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and sometimes you don't always feel it

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and

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and often perhaps i don't feel it is if

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it's about a topic that i'm not

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comfortable with so i think my tips

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quite often is being prepared um so if

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there's something like some whatever

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you're doing perhaps always do that

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preparation if it's doing a run or any

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exercise just doing a bit research

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um talking to friends getting advice

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that type of thing so that preparation i

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think helps build confidence um well

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what i would always do is pretend like

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i'm really sure in what i'm saying if

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you're unsure with yourself then you're

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not going to appear confident so just be

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really sure about what you're saying

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because then people will believe that

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you're a confident outgoing person

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don't you know think too much about what

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you're saying all the time just go out

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be free with it don't directly focus on

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anyone if you're talking to them and

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just be confident in what you're saying

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really you know believe what you're

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saying is right

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what advice would you give to someone

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who wants to appear or seem or feel more

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confident

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breathe and believe

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breathe

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that's it

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physically breathing and believing

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mentally however you want to take that

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or even belief breathe slowly or breathe

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quickly depends

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said to yourself

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breathe and believe breathe and believe

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hello so unfortunately we didn't get so

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many interviews for this episode storm

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eunice had other ideas so i thought in

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fact that i'd give you my opinion if you

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take it so i believe that you can't just

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sort of magically improve your

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self-esteem you have to own it i think

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and that involves you sort of

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understanding why you're lacking in

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certain senses

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um maybe you were bullied in school

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maybe you lost your job or you just know

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that you're lacking in some sort of

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skill in life i think it's also worth

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realizing that everybody has some sort

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of neuroticism in their life and that

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most people who are outwardly confident

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are usually doing this to compensate for

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something which uh makes them feel a

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little bit insecure i personally

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actually love people who admit to their

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failures in life and who admit that they

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are quite insecure about things i think

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it makes people really modest and quite

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humble which is um a very attractive

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quality i think so i dubbed this the

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eight mile approach based on the eminem

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film

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i think if you're feeling nervous or

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emotional you're probably best off just

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outwardly admitting it i think people

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can often see behind

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any sort of ruse anyone has if they're

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pretending to be okay i think it's quite

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easy to see through this

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and to be honest i think most people if

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you admit this will

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have empathy towards you or they should

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show empathy towards you so for me

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personally

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i have a confidence issue in

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speaking another language i work in the

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easy languages network and all of our

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meetings are held in english so i get to

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see the level of english that all the

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non-native speakers have and it's truly

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amazing so it does make me very

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self-conscious that my german is

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absolutely nowhere near the level of

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english that they have

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um and so i find it's just better for me

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to admit this that i'm not very

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comfortable or confident speaking

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another language yet and yeah everyone

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is very receptive to this and i think if

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you have uh confidence issues speaking

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english then i think you just tell

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people and i'm sure they'll accept you

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so i have a means to defeating my

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confidence issue which is through my

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language app and now i personally

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recommend

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who kindly agreed to sponsor this video

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a great feature is a study plan which

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helps keep me motivated and not

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overwhelm me with unrealistic goals

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6:03

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6:21

now back to the episode

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i'm gonna play like devil's advocate

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right now let's say you're not in a

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group and you're not doing anything

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which is particularly rehearsed let's

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say you're on a date

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this scenario with someone that you

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think oh i'd love to be that person but

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you have just crippling anxiety about

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this kind of thing

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smile a lot

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yeah

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smile a lot okay and tell yourself that

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you are confident really

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stand tall always stand tall the way

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that you walked really important i think

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um and eye contact you must make eye

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contact at all time i would say not look

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away but make eye contact yeah okay

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stan taught me so lots of physical

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physical physical the way you enter a

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room is really important the way you

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stand is important yeah you can deceive

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somebody that you're really confident

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yeah i was a drama teacher in the inner

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city in white chapel for 33 years

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so i spent a life giving children inner

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city kids

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challenging confidence the belief that

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the answers lie within them

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the transformation of the self

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and if you want to read more about it

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plug it shameless

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in search reimagining what it means to

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be a teacher daniel schindler you can

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get it in amnesty in brighton

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in the north lane get it now loads of

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advice there in my world i feel very

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nervous i'm talking to new people

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because you always have that kind of am

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i am i any good at what i do and i don't

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think that ever goes i don't think it

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ever leaves you but what i've learned is

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to listen really well to the way people

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are talking even with um like now

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obviously a lot of it's online but look

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at people look at the room they're in

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look at the space they're taking up and

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just just try and

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picture how that conversation is going

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to go and obviously the best thing is

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asian experience in a lot of ways

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because you understand different types

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of people have different needs but if

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the person

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that i if i've got a new client for

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example i will try to get to know them

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ask them questions keep it fairly light

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make sure i feel comfortable in my space

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especially on things like zoom so make

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sure it's tidy all that boring stuff but

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always you always think oh but actually

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if you feel confident in your space

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then that will help that conversation so

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i say for new clients i'll make sure my

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office looks nice and tidy i'm having a

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conversation that i feel

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about things i know about so yeah

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fantastic that was really great well

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kind of recently i did have to like

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present things to my class because i'm

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in college and i had to present things

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to like put myself forward as a

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candidate and so i just kind of stood up

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there and just

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tried to say like i'm really great for

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being a candidate even though i knew

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that i wasn't the best suited candidate

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but it worked anyway i did get i was

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nominated to be a class representative

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even though i

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probably wasn't the best person

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i have to do a lot of speaking to two

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groups of people and hosting meetings um

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and even now after years of doing it

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before every single meeting i get that

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feeling of anxiety it's the same people

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i deal with every time it's the same

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subjects and i always start with that

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anxiety that kind of panic of oh what if

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i say the wrong thing what if something

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goes wrong um

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the confidence comes when i step up

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there um i always start with a little

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kind of maybe a little anecdote or a

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little break in the ice with a joke

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maybe that's always good um and that

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relaxes me more than anything and then

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the confidence there comes where i can

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speak about the subjects we need to

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speak about and get the point across all

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right so you think of you sort of put

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into place something which you've not

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rehearsed as much but you know that you

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know where the story goes

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yes yeah the the the hardest part is

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starting i think with confidence right

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yeah once you get involved and start

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doing it uh whether it's on the karaoke

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machine or whether it's in front of in

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front of your class um speaking about a

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subject or reading from the book that

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first line will always be the most

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uncomfortable you will be once you break

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that barrier

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you will gain in confidence you you'll

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speak better you'll talk better you'll

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present yourself better and it's all

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about that first little bit getting

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through that i think it's really good

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are you a cat did you do the karaoke

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sometimes

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[Laughter]

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nice thanks for watching this week's

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episode let us know in the comments

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below your tips and tricks on building

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confidence or on appearing more

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confident also let us know in the

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comments below if you like the fact that

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we appear in the videos and give our

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opinion do you want to see it more in

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the future or do you want to see less of

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me in the future

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let us know and we'll see you next week

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bye

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[Music]

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you